A Terminal Wish

A Terminal Wish

I know I am old, and look so

For I have seen many winters come and go

I've seen babies, learners, workers, home makers...

repeating life plays, many times now and times ago

With love, I've prayed and cared for -- yes all of you

I know I am weak, and look frail

For I can't get up quickly or walk without a rail

I've poor sights, hearing, teeth, and strength...

to do life functions, without supports that entail

With love, I still pray and care for -- yes all of you

I know you care, and try quite hard

For I can see worries on your face and wishes on your card

I've advice from doctors, friends, family, media...

telling me what to do, not to die -- gracefully, even in bard

With love, I say thank you to -- yes you and you

I know social etiquette, and honesty we believe

For I have practiced and have taught -- never relieve

I'm at a tipping point, life, death, diplomacy, truth...

a break away, off the cycle, no return, nothing to retrieve

With love, watch me and live with me -- then, let me die free.

sr / 23 Jan 2557

I sat and listened to an old friend for a good while. She talked about times and high points in her life, her family members -- the clan she raised to adulthood, parenthood, and now home makers of their own. She talked about the care and attention she is receiving for her age-related conditions, advice and instructions she gets so she can stay on and on. It appeared to me that palliative care from family and carers is not compatible with the patient's view of life. She wishes to regain her independence -- her choice, her way of doing things, But, she is given 'no choice', only instructions to keep on feeding carers of one kind or another. She have been teaching her family for many decades and now being taught and told to behave. She held her diplomacy in social etiquette to feed and support her family. Now that they have grown up and can support themselves, she see that she can afford a freedom to speak her mind - honestly, to do what she chooses for herself. She wants supports for her physical conditions but she does not want to be treated like a child. But that is what palliative care is doing. So she opted out to hire a young untrained (foreign) woman to help her rather than to have a hoard of family and medically trained carers around her and to make up 'routines' for her.

I can be wrong in my thinking but could you think about it?

[ทิมดาบ]

นานๆ ผมจึงจะเห็นอาจารย์เขียนบทกวี

ความหมายดีมากครับ

หวังว่าตอนนี้ ในหัวใจอาจารย์จะเกิดแผ่นดินไหว

แต่เป็นการไหวแห่งความสุขและสุนทรีย์นะครับ

ระลึกอาจารย์ครับ

รักษาสุขภาพนะครับ

[Dr. Ple]

ขอบคุณ บันทึกดีดี ให้ข้อคิด ข้อเตือนใจ และ ภาษาสวยงาม ค่ะ ขอบคุณบันทึกดีดีนี้ค่ะ

[Yong]

นี้คือชีวิตคับ

[sr]

Thanks ทิมดาบ, Dr. Pl, ยง: My thought on the subject is fragmented and in complete -- a poem seems best to describe what I think ;-)

[ป.]

I do think this is a very clear message

"..She wants supports for her physical conditions but she does not want to be treated like a child. But that is what palliative care is doing.."

We are all love our dignitiy.
Thank for remind me what palliative care in Thailand should do better.