Teacher: Sam, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

Sam: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Teacher: How come you do not comb your hair?

Sam: No comb,  sir.

Teacher: Use your dad's then.

Sam: No hair, sir.


Teacher: What's the chemical formula for water?


Teacher: What?!

Sam: Yesterday you said it's H to O!


Teacher: Sam, give me a sentence starting with "I".

Sam: I is  .....


Teacher: No, Sam, always say "I am ..."


Sam: Alright ... umm  ... "I am the 9th letter of the 26 alphabets."  


Teacher: If I have 7  oranges in one hand and 8 on the other, what would I have?

Sam:  Big Hands!  

Father: Your teacher says she finds it's impossible to  teach you anything!

Sam: That's why I say she's no good!  


Father: Sam, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry  to her.

Sam: (to the aunt) Aunt, I'm sorry you're stupid.  

Sam:  Mom, teacher was asking me today if I've any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.

Mom: That's nice of her to take such an  interest, dear.  So what did she say when you told her you're the only  child, my dear?

Sam: She just said ... 'Thanks goodness!' 

Sam:  Dad, can you write in the dark?

Dad: I think so, what do you want me  to write?

Sam: Your name on my report card.