Ah Beng to a long-distance telephone operator :
"COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND Las Vegas?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng: "THANK YOU," AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Ah Beng replies: "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED."
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Ah Beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG." the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL". Ah Beng replies,
SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN "FOR 4-7 YRS".
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after,he become very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Ah Beng: "I pressed the 'F1' key for help... but it's been over half an hour & still nobody has come to help me...."
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered,
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring but instead of picking up the phone,I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear?
Oh Dear!"the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But what happened to the other ear?"
"That stupid dumb called back!"
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 was not allowed.