เอา dialogue ตอนที่อาจารย์น้องหมอเต็มศักดิ์ชอบมาฝากค่ะ

Vivian? You want a popsicle? - Yes, please. -

Okay. I'm gonna go get one. I'll be right back, okay?

The epithelial cells... in my GI tract... have been killed by the chemo. The cold popsicle feels good. It's something I can digest and it helps keep me hydrated.

For your information.

Here you go. -

 Here. - You sure? - Thanks. - Thank you. When I was a kid we used to get these from a truck. A man would come around and he'd ring his bell... and we'd all go running over. And then we'd sit on the curb and eat our popsicles. That's pretty profound, huh? Sounds nice.

There's something we need to talk about.

That you need to think about. My cancer's not being cured, is it?

No. They never expected it to be, did they?

They thought the drugs would make the tumor get smaller. And it has, it's gotten a lot smaller. But the problem is, it's started in other places too. They've learned a lot for their research and it was the best they had... it was the strongest drugs. It's just that there... There really isn't a good cure for what you have yet. For advanced ovarian.

I'm sorry, they should have explained this to you.

I knew.

You did?

I read between the lines.

What you need to think about is your code status. What you want them to do... if your heart stops beating.

Well? You can be full code which means that if your heart stops... we'll call a code blue and the code team will come in and resuscitate you... and take you to intensive care until you stabilize. Or, you can be: "Do not resuscitate."

Which means that if your heart stops... we'll just let it.

You'll be DNR. Now, you can think about it.

But I just... I just wanted to present you with both choices... before Kelekian and Jason come in and talk to you. -

They don't agree about this? - They like to save lives. So anything's okay as long as the life continues. Doesn't matter if you're hooked up to a million machines. Kelekian's a great researcher, he is... and the Fellows like Jason, they're really smart. It's an honor for them to be working with him. But they always want to know more things. I always want to know more things. I'm a scholar. Or I was... when I had shoes. When I had eyebrows. Okay, that's fine. You'll be full code.

No. Don't complicate the matter.

No, really, it's fine. It's up to you. Just let it stop.

Really?

Yes. So, if your heart stops beating... Just let it stop.

You sure?

Yes. Okay.

Okay, I'll get Kelekian to give the order, and then...

Susie? You're still going to take care of me, aren't you?

Of course I am. Don't you worry, sweetheart. Okay. Thank you.

That certainly was a maudlin display. Popsicles, "Sweetheart." I can't believe my life has become so corny. But it can't be helped, I don't see any other way. We are discussing life and death, and... not in the abstract, either.

We are discussing my life and my death. And I can't conceive of any other tone.

Now is not the time for verbal swordplay.

Nothing would be worse than a detailed scholarly analysis and... erudition, interpretation, complication.

No. Now is the time for simplicity. Now is the time for... dare I say it... kindness. And I thought being extremely smart... would take care of it. But I see that I have been found out. I'm scared. Oh, God. I want... I want to... No. I want to hide. I just want to curl up in a little ball. I want to tell you... how it feels. I want to explain it. To use my words. It's just as if I can't. There aren't... I'm in terrible pain. Susie says... I need to be in aggressive pain management... if I'm going to stand it. "lt." Such a little word. I think in this case... "it"... signifies being alive.

Okay. We've located Dr. Kelekian and he's on his way here... and we'll get you some meds.

God, it's so painful. So much pain.

I know. Just try and relax and clear your mind. We'll get you patient-controlled analgesic. It's a little pump with a little button and you press it... and you decide how much medication you want. It's very simple and it's all up to you.

Okay.