The love of my father is still in my heart

         The Workshop training on "Term Phalang Chai Hai Khwam Rak Kae Kan" (or literally - Morale boosting, giving love to one another -), which was held on 26-27 September 2009 in the Ruangkanjana Building Auditorium, reminds me of the love and endless giving of a father to his daughther though it has been a long time since then -- around 11 years.

         Once after his retirement, my father attends a 2-day training with people both the acquainted and the unacquainted.  On the first day of the training, my father phones me saying he is very happy in the training session ; he appreciates what he has received, and he is in a high spirit.  On the night of the first day of the training, he calls again to say "I love you.  I have made a lot of friends.  Tomorrow after the training I will go home in Lopburi.  Enough for today because people are waiting to use the telephone." After that my father imparts what he has obtained from the training to his loved ones, namely his wife, son and me -- his daughter

Lt. Khien  Panthong  (The father who loves his daughter the most)

          Once my father visits me in Bangkok, he stays with me for 3 days before going back home in Lopburi.  One morning my father waits for me at the stairway, as soon as I come down, my father says "Could I have a word with you?  It won't be long. Come and stand in front of me." then he reaches his hand to grip my hand (we hold hands warmly for a while). "Look in my eyes (My father's eyes are full of love and warmth)."  While looking at me, my father starts saying "I love you. Thanks for being born my daughter.  I must apologise for whatever wrong I have done .  You must excuse me." I nod my head. "Do you have anything to tell me?" I hold his hand and look into his eyes. (While looking at his eyes and his face, I deeply feel my father appears to be very old with grey hair, his eyes seemingly cloudy like cataract, and his face looks so old as that of a man in 70-80 years old even though his actual age is only 62).  I tell him "I also love you. thank you for having me born as your daughter.  I have to ask for your forgiveness if I have done something wrong to you physically, orally, or mentally. You must excuse me." my father also nods his head.  I kneel down and prostrate at his feet.  Then we embrace with love and warmth for a while. My father then says "You better hurry to work or else you'll be late."  In the evening of that day, he goes back to Lopburi.

          Not long after that, our father passes away at the age of 63.  He has completed his alloted span of life.  We know he has done it so happily because he has left nothing undone for his wife and children ; he has given his love, apology and forgiveness to everynone before his departure.  We all are happy too because our father is still in our hearts. 

          On the night of August 21, 1998, around 11.00 pm.  A phone call from my mother asking me whether I am busy ; if not , I should come to visit my father the next day, he is sick and is admitted in the Lopburi Hospital.  My mother does not say how serious his condition is.  She just says he is all right .  But in fact, he has been unconscious before reaching the hospital.  He has been lying  watching TV program and suddenly he starts catching his breath as if there is something struck in his throat. My mother asks him what happens to him.  But he has already been unconscious. My mother opens his mouth trying to use her fingers to clear his throat and puts a piece of cloth into his mouth to prevent him from biting his own tongue. then she shouts for help from the neighbours to send him to the hospital.

          On the morning of August 22, 1998 when I arrive, my father is still unconscious, I whisper into his ear : "I have arrived, father. If you hear what I say touch my hand.  He responds by touching.  His tears flow down" his checks as if to signal to me.  He has high fever so I start wiping him with wet towel. (The doctor says he cannot live beyond tomorrow, if he can, it would be like this being unconscious, without oxygen, he would pass away. My father night be waiting for me to come before departing.)  We stay untill the end of the visit period. My brother stays with him but has to sleep outside the ward.  Before I leave, I whisper into his ear again saying "Father, I have to go.  Tomorrow I'll come to visit you agian.  I love you.  Don't you worry about me, mother or brother.  If you have completed your alloted span of life, you can go to heaven.  If you are alive, let's meet again tomorrow."  Then after that, around midnight or early morning of August 23, 1998, a nurse comes to my brother and tells him our father has passed away. (Our father leaves us without causing any trouble to us -- his wife and children in having to look after him all the time)

          Since the visit at the hospital, I keep weeping the whole day and night even when I am back home with my mother.  We both cannot sleep, then after midnight I complain of a bad smell, my mother says there is nothing smelling.  I then ask my mother what we would do in case my father dies.  Suddenly there is a telephone ringing , I immediately know my father would have passed away.  My brother phones in from the hospital saying my father has just passed away.

          Before his death, our father has planned and set his goals.  He has written 2 lettres.

          The first letter.  My father says if he dies, I have to take all the documents and attach the copy of his death certificate, then follow the steps he has written : who to get in touch, where to submit the document or which army department.  We -- his wife and children have no trouble in the process. (My father is a soldier, the remuneration comes from many sections.)

          The second letter.  My father tells us where the total amount comes from ; how much the amount is .  After the money is divided amomg us -- his wife, daughter and son, the remaining amount of about 30,000 baht is for his funeral.  Our father doesn't want us to spend a fortune for the rite which is to be simple.

          We spend 3 days for the funeral rite, my brother makes a request for a royal fire (special case) for our father.  On the cremation day, many people who love my father attend the rite ranging from privates, sergeants, sergeant majors, captains to generals including the 5 army commanders and the retired generals because he is well loved in the army.  My father never forgets his superiors even after their retirement, he always visits them.  Even the privates and sergeants love him. (When my father is on duty, they would be happy to have delicious foods because my father always cook good foods for them)

          Even the grandmother Suvimol Hemvijit, the mother of general Udom Hemvijit, who is very old and cannot walk and has to be in a wheelchair, has come for the monk chanting and on the cremation day.  Gen. Udom tells the grandma that uncle Khien has passed away and she must not cry otherwise she will not be taken for the monk chanting rite. (My father has paid his last visit to the grandma on August 12, 1998 which is the Mother's Day and tells her that he wants to be born agian in the next life as her son)

         

          Seaw  Panthong (The mother who loves her family the most )

         **** When the smoke from the crematorium rises up into the sky, The 3 of us look up and our mother says "Father, do you see in your funeral rite, there are so many people?  Are you pround of it?"****

          Believe it or not? My father's giving goes to the very end.  We withdraw 100,000 baht from the bank for his funeral ; the night after the cremation, we count the money from the envelops in order to put the money back into the bank -- the amount is exactly 100,000 baht.  Our father does not make us spend extra mony for his funeral

Thank you everyone.

          ****Hoping every one who clicks to read this article would take some good things for your own practice and give them to your loved ones such as your father, mother, relatives, friends.  And even to all living things on earth whether human or animal (Our lives are not long, if you want to do something for some one or say you love someone , start now and you will find happiness in life.)****